It’s hard to love once, harder still to love twice
Feels like the ground freezes as you kneel to gather your heart
Like the sun is out but you’re covered in ice
Broken pieces just never heal right…
Some say in time all wounds mend
But time is scarce beneath the stars
Life is short, let’s not pretend...
And Tuesday’s wounds are Wednesday’s scars
And even if the scars are few
Even if the icecaps melt
Even still if you start anew
There’s no running from what you felt…
So where do you go to escape your thoughts?
To find that peace that you desperately need
What do you do when you’ve reopened your cuts?
What do I do? I watch myself bleed…
Alternate endings:
I say a creed
I smoke some weed…
I write a screed…
Akin Ogunsola
2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Untitled...
It’s interesting how you can be in a room full of people yet feel alone – better still when your head is full of voices yet you’re all alone... The burden you bear no one understands; But how do you protect the wind from harm? If you keep it in a jar you take away its essence – yet letting it free, you risk losing it to the currents… losing its uniqueness, the very thing that makes it yours – your wind, your heart… what does it mean to protect your heart… if you jar it up, you’ll never find love – then what’s the point of having one? Still I understand that to let it free would be to risk breaking it, betraying it…
Its easy to shut out the world, to let people in as far as it takes to fill their shallow greed… and still keep your soul locked away, the part of you that can be broken – the gems, the treasures… the memories that if ever reached could give another the power to make you fall to your knees… I understand… perhaps it is because I am similar, not as far-gone as you are… but similar. So I’ll say this once, but only once because its all that my pride would allow – I’m not one to be satisfied by the easy things… the surface crust holds neither victory nor honor for me… but to understand another, to see them for the truth that they are… good and bad, to accept them… to hug ‘em when they are smelly and no one else will – to be the only one still waiting, still cheering, when the crowds are gone and they are the last to cross the finish line – these things take time to earn, but that’s what I’m here to do – to earn.
That said, I know this isn’t the last time circumstances like this will come up – who knows what the next one will look like. But for my sake, for whatever honor it is that I have left in your eyes – consider my writing today before you discard my integrity so quickly.
Akin O.
Its easy to shut out the world, to let people in as far as it takes to fill their shallow greed… and still keep your soul locked away, the part of you that can be broken – the gems, the treasures… the memories that if ever reached could give another the power to make you fall to your knees… I understand… perhaps it is because I am similar, not as far-gone as you are… but similar. So I’ll say this once, but only once because its all that my pride would allow – I’m not one to be satisfied by the easy things… the surface crust holds neither victory nor honor for me… but to understand another, to see them for the truth that they are… good and bad, to accept them… to hug ‘em when they are smelly and no one else will – to be the only one still waiting, still cheering, when the crowds are gone and they are the last to cross the finish line – these things take time to earn, but that’s what I’m here to do – to earn.
That said, I know this isn’t the last time circumstances like this will come up – who knows what the next one will look like. But for my sake, for whatever honor it is that I have left in your eyes – consider my writing today before you discard my integrity so quickly.
Akin O.
"Fall down seven times, stand up eight"
What do you know about the pain of being hurt
When you’ve given your all, when you’ve paid the highest cost
Yet looking at the finish line, with your face down in the dust
You think you understand me, you only see the crust
I cannot blame them for my loss
I made my choices, I am my boss
Life is uncertain, I lost the toss
The burden I bare, this is my cross
The disconnect between a man and a monster
How far are they indeed I wonder,
What’s it take to turn one into the other?
Take this pain away! I can’t stand it much longer
I’ll hold out as long as I need
Firmly I’ll stand, even as I bleed
I’ll earn my stripes, I’ll follow, I’ll lead
There’s good in me, make this my creed
And yet they speak like they know
Talking in whispers ‘cause they’re scared it’ll show
Cowards! The likes of you dwell six feet below
You are not prepared, hardly a foe
Check my anger, I must sedate
Twelve months have passed until this date
Let it go, don’t feed the hate…
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
“life is history in the making…”
Akin O.
July, 2007.
When you’ve given your all, when you’ve paid the highest cost
Yet looking at the finish line, with your face down in the dust
You think you understand me, you only see the crust
I cannot blame them for my loss
I made my choices, I am my boss
Life is uncertain, I lost the toss
The burden I bare, this is my cross
The disconnect between a man and a monster
How far are they indeed I wonder,
What’s it take to turn one into the other?
Take this pain away! I can’t stand it much longer
I’ll hold out as long as I need
Firmly I’ll stand, even as I bleed
I’ll earn my stripes, I’ll follow, I’ll lead
There’s good in me, make this my creed
And yet they speak like they know
Talking in whispers ‘cause they’re scared it’ll show
Cowards! The likes of you dwell six feet below
You are not prepared, hardly a foe
Check my anger, I must sedate
Twelve months have passed until this date
Let it go, don’t feed the hate…
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
“life is history in the making…”
Akin O.
July, 2007.
A Legacy
There are times in life where we must stop and take record of the things we have done… the friends we have made, those we have lost… the good, the bad… to measure our character relative to what it was however many years ago and decide for ourselves if we are closer to the dreams we dreamt as toddlers… to test the closeness of old friends to see if they’ve become brothers… or if they’ve been set on a new course that runs different from ours… it is in these moments that we validate our presence on earth, our influence on life and it on us… our legacy.
That said, sometimes it is necessary to step out of the path that is ours, and into that of another… I’m not referring to the predetermined pattern where our lives weave in and out of those around us, but to when we deliberately decide to momentarily take up the cause of another, and fight for it like it is our own… when we lose, just so another can taste the sweetness of victory… when I suffer my voice to quiet… so that it is yours that carries on the wind…
At first glance it makes no sense, similar to throwing pearls back into the depths of the ocean – why hinder life when you’ve worked so hard to get here? The answer is this – consider life an ocean… and in the turbulence of day to day living, people get lost… swept down chaotic currents sometimes without realizing it. It hurts to lay down pearls… pride, self worth…need for justice… but I do… in hopes that the trail will lead you back to me.
Let my legacy be one of sacrifice… that we may finish together, what we started together.
Akin Ogunsola
2008
That said, sometimes it is necessary to step out of the path that is ours, and into that of another… I’m not referring to the predetermined pattern where our lives weave in and out of those around us, but to when we deliberately decide to momentarily take up the cause of another, and fight for it like it is our own… when we lose, just so another can taste the sweetness of victory… when I suffer my voice to quiet… so that it is yours that carries on the wind…
At first glance it makes no sense, similar to throwing pearls back into the depths of the ocean – why hinder life when you’ve worked so hard to get here? The answer is this – consider life an ocean… and in the turbulence of day to day living, people get lost… swept down chaotic currents sometimes without realizing it. It hurts to lay down pearls… pride, self worth…need for justice… but I do… in hopes that the trail will lead you back to me.
Let my legacy be one of sacrifice… that we may finish together, what we started together.
Akin Ogunsola
2008
Papa...
Papa! Papa!!!
The little boy cries out to you for answers
Brothers killing brothers just to be gangsters
I saw ‘em last night pa, I saw what they did to johnny,
They shot him down pa, didn’t even take his money…
I thought you said that people stand together
That the pain we share binds us like leather
Papa, the men last night – I saw their faces
I saw ‘em pa, we’re from the same places,
Races, the man who pulled the trigger was no stranger
He’s one of us pa, now we’re in danger
I wanted to help, I wanted to scream for johnny
But I couldn’t pa, I knew that they’d find me
What do I do? What if they saw me!?
I can’t go outside pa, what if they saw me!!?
I’m scared papa, scared of my people
I’m scared ‘cause when I look at them… I see me too.
Son, my dear son
An aging man tries to explain
Amidst hope and dreams there’s lots of pain
These are difficult times, you’ll start to see
Perfected, this world will never be
The things you saw my son, yes they are true
But I promise those men are not like you
His eyes tear up for he knows within
The reality of the things that he’s seen
His son before him, the grip of fear
The darkness within has begun to leer
Hear me now! you’re filled with light…
And for that light you’ve got to fight
Many we know have lost their way
And yet another innocent might have to pay
But we cannot cower or turn our backs
For Evil grows where courage lacks
On deaf ears his words did fall
Once hopeful eyes had already dulled
So on his knees, his muscles tense
Unprepared, with no defense
The mists unite beneath his eyes
For in his arms an innocent cries…
Akin Ogunsola
2008
The little boy cries out to you for answers
Brothers killing brothers just to be gangsters
I saw ‘em last night pa, I saw what they did to johnny,
They shot him down pa, didn’t even take his money…
I thought you said that people stand together
That the pain we share binds us like leather
Papa, the men last night – I saw their faces
I saw ‘em pa, we’re from the same places,
Races, the man who pulled the trigger was no stranger
He’s one of us pa, now we’re in danger
I wanted to help, I wanted to scream for johnny
But I couldn’t pa, I knew that they’d find me
What do I do? What if they saw me!?
I can’t go outside pa, what if they saw me!!?
I’m scared papa, scared of my people
I’m scared ‘cause when I look at them… I see me too.
Son, my dear son
An aging man tries to explain
Amidst hope and dreams there’s lots of pain
These are difficult times, you’ll start to see
Perfected, this world will never be
The things you saw my son, yes they are true
But I promise those men are not like you
His eyes tear up for he knows within
The reality of the things that he’s seen
His son before him, the grip of fear
The darkness within has begun to leer
Hear me now! you’re filled with light…
And for that light you’ve got to fight
Many we know have lost their way
And yet another innocent might have to pay
But we cannot cower or turn our backs
For Evil grows where courage lacks
On deaf ears his words did fall
Once hopeful eyes had already dulled
So on his knees, his muscles tense
Unprepared, with no defense
The mists unite beneath his eyes
For in his arms an innocent cries…
Akin Ogunsola
2008
5 Cents
You catch my eye
Begging, Pleading…
I see your plight
Worried, Saddened…
Your cause is mine
Promise, Binding…
I’m here to fight
Purpose, Finding…
Time passes by
Winter, Seasons…
I’m led astray
Lifestyle, Reasons…
I’ll get to you
Priority, Rankings…
But not today
Fatigue, Resting…
I’ve got my life
Stressful, Tedious…
I’ve got my needs
Shelter, Lexus…
I’m not a saint
Moses, Jesus…
I feel no guilt
Hardened, Callous…
Quit looking here
Ireful, Testy…
This needs to end
Arid, Banal…
I cannot help
Working, Busy…
I’m not a friend
Serious, Final…
You catch my eye
Begging, Pleading…
The eyes of a child,
Innocent, Suffering…
for five cents a month…
Akin Ogunsola
2008
Begging, Pleading…
I see your plight
Worried, Saddened…
Your cause is mine
Promise, Binding…
I’m here to fight
Purpose, Finding…
Time passes by
Winter, Seasons…
I’m led astray
Lifestyle, Reasons…
I’ll get to you
Priority, Rankings…
But not today
Fatigue, Resting…
I’ve got my life
Stressful, Tedious…
I’ve got my needs
Shelter, Lexus…
I’m not a saint
Moses, Jesus…
I feel no guilt
Hardened, Callous…
Quit looking here
Ireful, Testy…
This needs to end
Arid, Banal…
I cannot help
Working, Busy…
I’m not a friend
Serious, Final…
You catch my eye
Begging, Pleading…
The eyes of a child,
Innocent, Suffering…
for five cents a month…
Akin Ogunsola
2008
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